People believe having perseverance and not giving up is resilience. Whilst having it will certainly help, resilience is not just about having perseverance; Resilience is actually the ability to cope and bounce back from setbacks and adversity whilst remaining calm and being positive. It requires adaptability, flexibility, strength and a willingness to learn from one’s setbacks. It is having strong coping skills - having the strength to tackle problems and challenges head-on.
There are four types of resilience which include mental resilience, physical resilience, emotional resilience and social resilience. Some people can be said to be naturally resilient, and it appears that it is their personality that helps them cope in the face of challenges. It is more complex than that however, as there are many external and internal factors to consider. These include their DNA/genetic make-up, their innate mental health, physical fitness and their environment.
Seven signs / factors of resilience:
The right mentality – viewing oneself as a survivor supported by a good dose of realistic optimism.
A problem-solving approach and competence – remaining focussed, approaching the challenge constructively and learning ‘to roll with the punches’ to find a solution.
Self-awareness and self-compassion – help in building emotional maturity. Reconciling with one’s past, practising self-refection and treating oneself with kindness
Living with passion – knowing what one’s passions are and believing and living them.
Knowing & working with one’s Strengths – working with one’s unique strengths & skills will give a greater sense of control and increases the chances of one’s actions playing an active part in determining the outcome of events.
Strong social support & healthy relationships – having people to ask for help, lean on and talk to. Recognising the importance of, and maintaining these, is critical.
A healthy lifestyle and discipline – a healthy diet, balanced lifestyle and exercise routine supports the ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ concept supporting greater resilience.
Resilience will not automatically eliminate stress or eradicate life’s difficulties and challenges - It’s not just understanding and feeling the negative emotions that come as a result of life’s hardships and setbacks but having the mental outlook which allows you to face these, work through them, to recover and to move on with one’s life.
Some other direct benefits of being more resilient:
Helps you deal with disappointment and facing rejection.
Makes you be more flexible and adaptable.
Gives you the ability to manage your emotions better.
Has a positive influence on your health.
Buoys your multi-tasking ability.
Feeds into being more creative.
Prevents stress and ultimate burnout.
Fortunately, we can actively work towards building our resilience. The first is looking to the signs/factors of resilience and reflecting on where you stand personally. Secondly, consider whether you could improve in any of these areas, set yourself a few simple actionable steps on where and how to improve and if possible, set yourself timelines for these actions. Setting timelines will increase your chances of execution. Lastly, use continuous reflection techniques after actionable experiences to ensure you learn from your experiences.
Below are several suggestions for building resilience:
Change your mindset – reframing of negative thoughts. Turning the negative self-talk into positive affirmations.
Keep a gratitude diary – record a minimum of three things every day for which you are grateful.
Understand change – all humans are impacted by change and unexpected setbacks. Having a deeper understanding of the emotions you will go through; will help you be kinder and more patient with yourself.
Focus on what you can control – accept that you cannot turn back the clock, that you cannot change things, and try focus on what you can impact and change. Set down a plan and approach it one step at a time.
Manage your stress – there are numerous techniques which help in managing stress – some include meditation, exercise, healthy diet, creativity through hobbies or expressive writing.
Find support – sharing your troubles with a friend, Therapist or a Coach eases the load. Talking through things often helps you find your own answers and solutions. It sometimes fuels creativity too.
So, whilst it may appear that some people are naturally more resilient that others, it is vital to know that resilience is a skill that can be strengthened. Even in the face of trials that may feel devastating, knowing you have cultivated resilience, will enable you to assemble the strength to not just survive but to prosper and thrive.
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